My Visit to the Cannon Museum

Nekosoft (#139864)

Recently, I was invited to a gala benefit at the Cannon Museum, a night to save the endangered
meatskink. As the Loathing economy deflates, the meatskink's habitat starts to disappear. As
the economy attains equilibrium, the meatskink could become totally
extinct! Due to my meager donation to the Buy the Yetis fund, I seem to be on
the Museum's mailing list for life. Telemarketing kmails when I'm sitting down
to dinner and everything. Luckily, the occasional gala affair more than makes
up for the junk blue messages I get every month.

Here's the facade of the Museum, as pictured on the
Cannon Museum Postcards, available at the Cannon Museum Gift Shop.

I snap a picture of the side of the museum. It's great the Council of Loathing saved money
on construction by ordering the museum to be made out of worthless gold,
rather than valuable concrete or wood. How am I taking the picture if
I'm in the picture, clearly holding my camera? That's an excellent question,
and I assure you there's a very reasonable explanation. Moving on...

Here's Riff, decked out in his Fez. Next time I see him,
I'm going to ask what his Cocoabo's name is (I was too shy). The Cocoabo spent
most of the night nibbling the Pretty Flowers planted outside the museum.

Susie is collecting the "suggested minimum" donations this evening.
It's "suggested" that you "donate" if you want to get in. Don't worry, Firestorm ZERO,
I'm sure you're on the guest list. Looking sharp with a Tiny Plastic Sword,
Bowlegged Pants, Newbiesport Backpack and Spooky Hockey Mask.

The Hermit had already been killed by the time I arrived so I didn't get to see how to do it. Someday...

The first people I saw were none other than Jick, Mr Skullhead and Xlyinia!
Skully's got his fratpaddle, Xlyinia's got her notebook, frilly skirt and cowboy hat
and Jick's playing the accordion and is about to say "Nothing has changed!"

Next I ran into the judges for the KoLego contest.
I mean, what are the odds? Greater than zero, certainly. Belgarion is
sporting star garb and a Mr. A, TechSmurf's got his demonskin trousers, chrome crossbow,
Newbiesport Backpack and if you look closely, a tiny plastic bitchin' meat car on the belt and
an Imitation Nice watch on the wrist. inVadeR dOOM's wearing a pail, star pants, a Golden Mr. A,
diamond-studded cane and is swinging Gnollish nunchaku around.
Careful, this is a museum!

ShadowsLight does the robot with chatbot

chatbot does the human with ShadowsLight

ShadowsLight is decked out in Radio Gear, two Mr. A's and a Baio
while chatbot is currently wearing a frilly skirt, maiden's wig and two Golden Mr. A's.

BoozerBear poses by the Crazy Bastard Sword on display.
Boozer's got his MAHI fez, a Bigger Bugfinder Blade, Demonskin Trousers,
Warehouse 23 Bling, a Golden Mr. A on his belt, a flowery shirt and something
to drink. Not many could look as good as boozer does in that shirt.

Cryptic Angel and CrazyAnnie are seen near Boozer's 31337 trip Bitchin' Meat Car,
recently driven up from the Bahamas. Think about how many county fairs he ruined!

Cryptic Angel is carrying a chrome staff and wearing a Mr. A and Ricket's studded leather boxer shorts.
I thought this was a formal event, but I'm not going to argue with a DJ.
CrazyAnnie sports a meat cowboy hat, Mr. Container, Demonskin Trousers, hypnodisc,
Golden Mr. A and a Magical Crayon of Good Drawing.

[editor's note: Not an actual item, nor a grammatically correct name for an item]

What the- ? A fetus in the Cannon Museum? Good thing Bashy's around!
Bashy will solve the problem. Bashy look very stylish because Bashy wearing
Prussian-style Star Hat and Pants and Fetus Bashing Club.
Bashy hates fetus, but Bashy love festive galas.

I overheard Bashy say that.

Sure, we all gave booze to get the Yetis to mate, but does anyone remember to feed them?
Of course: TinyZu has been feeding them pizza every day.
She's got her Golden Mr. A, star pants, pasta spoon and a 65 meat sausage pizza.
Only for the newbies. And Yetis.

It's banhammer versus fratpaddle as Lacey and Skully have
a friendly contest. Lacey's resplendent in her Demonskin Trousers and Crimbo Hat.
Please note that this picture does not advocate the banning of the Kingdom of Loathing.

Jick and Riff discuss ascension. At least I hope they're discussing ascension.
My ears started to burn with Knowledge-I-Was-Not-Mean-to-Know as I tried eavesdropping.

I acquired an effect! Burned Eardrums (10 adventures)

CrazyAnnie and TheBub stop and take time to smell the flowers.
TheBub is wearing a Very Small Raver Giant hat (a small one), Crimbo pants,
Mr. Shirt (Hooray, It's Mr. Shirt!) and is carrying a chrome staff and a Baio.
A square Baio. Evidently, a Lego Baio.
That's fun to say out loud: Lego Baio.

Bashy gets ready to bash a sample of Steaming Evil "just in case"
as Xlyinia writes Bashy's actions down in her notebook.

Here's a shot I took from the mezzanine (not pictured). I cut clean,
and then I took the elevator to the mezzanine. The Museum is made up out of
the same stuff everybody's colossal closets are made out of, so it's virtually
unlimited in scope. Thousands upon thousands of corridors, each more ornate
than the last. The many display cases lined the walls, filled with unimaginable
treasures and enormous collections. Luckily, everybody stuck to the main hall.

Xlyinia and TechSmurf take the elevator (also not pictured) from the mezzanine
to the roof to check out the giant cannon. It may not look like much,
but that cannon cost more than two hundred and seventy billion meat. How much more?
A lot more. I'm starting to think the Council of Loathing hired penguin mafia builders.

Hmm... It's all starting to make sense now.

Xlyinia would neither confirm nor deny that the Council and the Penguins were in
cahoots to fleece the fine citizens of Loathing of their hard-earned meat
in a massive conspiracy that went all the way up to the top.

She did imply that it was silly.

At the end of the night, there was a group shot
taken in front of the museum. Again, I'm in the picture so it's unclear how the picture is being taken.
What is clear is that everyone had a good time.

Except the hermit.

And that fetus Bashy clubbed.

Anyway, everybody in the picture had a good time, and isn't that what really counts?

Large version of group shot

Contact Nekosoft (#139864) in game for your custom Lego photography needs.

Mr Skullhead inspired by Cynn's illustration.

BoozerBear inspired by Senor Random's illustration.

Shadowslight inspired by BrassDogma (aka M Rankin)'s illustration.

All characters, situations and trademarks are copyright by their respective companies. No infringement of any kind is intended or should be inferred. All trademarks, service marks, and copyrights are property of their respective owners.

Nekosoft, aka Erik Johnson, is not affiliated with any other Erik Johnsons, living or dead.

More custom Lego available at www.applesaucebrainman.com