Non-scratch
				  (A Play)
	By Erik ("verily") and Rain ("unbidden")

a road at dusk. a horse passes. blue dust surrounds Zefire. it settles. a tree 
appears, Zefire approaches it. Cheops springs out of its top branches, landing 
on a carrot. Zefire is unaffected.

Cheops: So, who was on that horse.
(This is act one, by the way)
Zefire: No one.
Cheops: No one? 
Zefire: Not a soul.
Cheops: It was just walking around on it's own accord?
Zefire: Yeah!
Cheops: So. (pause) Where was it going?
Zefire: Horse places, I would imagine.
	End scene one.
  Scene 2... and a half.
	Same place as before.
Cheops: So...
	(pause)
	who was on that horse?
Zefire: we've already established this.
Cheops: oh. sorry. my fault.
	(pause)
	so
	where was it going? 
Zefire: we've established that too.
Cheops: oh.
	(pause)
	what happened to that carrot?
Zefire: you stepped on it.
Cheops: So... its smushed.
Zefire: yes.
a large dust cloud draws near.
Zefire: what's that?
Cheops: I don't know.
The dust cloud comes closer. Zefire and Cheops watch. A large yellow school bus
emerge. 
"Green Spallow School District" is painted on the side. It stops in front of Z.
znd C. They get on.
	End scene 2 and a half.
Scene 3 (and three quarters!)
on the bus
Cheops: So... (another pause.. this one longer then the other ones) 
	Where's this bus going?
Zefire: Don't know.
Cheops: you think it was going to the same place that the... uh...
Zefire: Horse?
Cheops: Yeah! The horse was going.
Zefire: The horse places.
Cheops: You would imagine.
Zefire: I would imagine.
Cheops: You would imagine the bus is going there? Or that the bus is 
going to the horse places?
Zefire: Why would the bus be going to the horse places?
Cheops: They... could be meeting there?
Zefire: Idiot.
Cheops: Well its true! They could be discussing transportation 
issues!
Zefire: Idiot.
	End scene 3 and a quarter
	Scene four
The bus stops.
Cheops: Hey!
Zefire: What?
Cheops: the bus stopped.
Zefire: oh.
	end scene Four.
Scene four
Cheops: Do you suppose...
Zefire: No, I imagine.
Cheops: Do you suppose that this is a magic bus?
Zefire: I... IMAGINE... that it's possible.
Cheops: That, I like.
	(the bus starts again)
     end scene four. next scene
The bus travels on. Fields of corn surround it.
Zefire: where are we going? 
Cheops: we haven't established that.
Zefire: well
	(pause)
	at least we're on a magic bus.
Cheops: what's that supposed to mean?
Zefire: I don't know.
Cheops: well. you must have meant something by it. 
Zefire: I don't think so.
Cheops: But you must have.
	(pause)
Zefire: perhaps.
Cheops: Do you think?
Zefire: I think I did.
	(pause)
Cheops: I'm hungry.
Zefire: there's plenty of corn around.
	end scene next.
Scene 6ix
Cheops: So.
Zefire: You keep saying that.
Cheops: I like that word. So what?
Zefire: There, you said it again!
Cheops: And?
Zefire And I'm just pointing that out.
Cheops: I... imagine you are.
Zefire: I imagine so.
Cheops: and you keep using that word. So it's not so wrong to have a 
	magic, secret word.
Zefire: I suppose not.
Cheops: Supposings, just like imagining, only It's a different word.
Zefire: You are a tangle of mysteries.
Cheops: That is the first sensible thing you've said in quite some 
time.
And such ends scene six
	Scene 6.993 repeating
Cheops: are we actually getting anywhere?
Zefire: what do you think?
Cheops: I don't imagine...
Zefire: plaguirism!
Cheops: What? Where?
Zefire: behind you!
Cheops looks behind him.
Cheops: empty bus seats.
Zefire: what?
Cheops: that's what's behind me.
Zefire looks behind Cheops.
Zefire: no. that's not what I meant.
	(pause)
	I meant you have to leave it behind you.
Cheops: you mean that horse?
Zefire: No.
	(pause)
	that carrot.
end scene 6.993 repeating
begin scene seven
(one of the bards, is quite, quite toasted, if not both)
On with scene seven
Cheops: Alright. I've settled it. I'm hungry.
Zefire: So eat corn.
Cheops: Yeah. Driver! Stop the bus!
Driver: This bus don't make no stops.
Cheops: Hey! We want it to stop.
Driver: (whose uniform reveals him to be driver eight) This bus don't 
carry no passengers.
Zefire: you may as well give up.
Cheops: No, I'm fucking hungry. Driver, stop the bus.
Driver (eight): This bus don't make no stops.
Cheops: Stop the damn bus.
Zefire: Hey wait! Not that I'm in on this, but we were stopped for 
about 15 minutes before.
Cheops: Yeah, we already stopped.
Driver 8: This bus don't make no stops.
	They drive on
	It grows darker
end scene seven
	Scene eight 
The bus stops. driver (number eight) is no longer present.
Zefire: uh.
	(pause)
	Where are we?
Cheops: i don't know. how about asking driver (eight)?
Zefire: he's not here anymore. remember?
Cheops: i don't imagine we'd established that.
Zefire: well.
	(pause)
          we have now.
Cheops: so.
	(pause)
      Shall we get out of the bus?
Zefire: let's do.
they get out of the bus.
Cheops: is that ....
Zefire: What?
Cheops: is that a ...
Zefire: what?
Cheops:  a snake?
Zefire: it doesn't really look like a snake....
Cheops: perhaps.
	(pause)
	perhaps its a river.
Zefire: hah.
	end scene eight.
Scene 9ine
Zefire: A big blue snake.
Cheops: What?
Zefire: That's pretty funny...
Cheops: Come off it.
Zefire: Now what?
Cheops: You with your sullen depressed lurking, oh so deep meta 
physical  monosylabic answers " I imagine this" "I imagine that" "I 
shit on this" "I shit on that". When will we be fortunate enough to pierce 
through your veil of indifference because you've got to care about something. You Care?!? Do you care about something? Do you?
Zefire: fuck you.
Cheops: That's very un carein-
Zefire:  Shit!
Cheops: What?
Zefire: The bus is rolling
(it is) 
They jump on.
Zefire- where's the brake.
Cheops: I think the driver kept it.
Zefire: oh.
Cheops:This you care about.
Zefire: I imagine.
Cheops: I'm not even going to glub glub glub glub
the bus rolls into the river.
    It was a river.                        			The end