STRENGTHLESS AND UNSTRUNG
by Erik and Rain

Spackle:  So.
Bill:  So.
Spackle:  It's dark.
Bill: Quite dark.
Spackle:  But dark because it is night or dark because of the blackness in our souls?
Bill:  the blackness in our souls, assuredly.  (long pause)
	want a cucumber?
Spackle:  No, I don't want one.
(shot pause. fade to black)
End Act 1

Act 2

( lights flash on revealing Spackle alone on the aforementioned field)
Scene 1
Spackle:  A cucumber.  
	Why in God's name did Bill offer me a cucumber?  
	What is God's name?  
	Perhaps God's name is Bill.  
	If so... I don't know.  
	I need cucumbers.
(exit Spackle)
Act 2 Scene 2
Bill: Why did Spackle refuse my cucumber?
	Does he not like cucumbers?
	Or does he not like me?
	I don't even like cucumbers, but here I am with a sleeve full of cucumbers.
	I'll go hang myself.
End Scene 2


Act 2 Scene 3
(the scene opens with Bill standing on stage left.  Lights slowly come 
upon stage right to reveal Spackle.) 
Bill ;  To be dead would be like...like...like...
Spackle: (quietly)  I'ld like a cucumber.
Bill: (not quite hearing)  Death is like a cucumber?  No, death can't be 
like a cucumber.  A cucumber is too..too...
Spackle:  Wet?
Bill:  Wet?  Is death wet?
Spackle:  Can I please have a cucumber?
Bill:  If death is wet I'll have to drown myself that's it.  I'll drown 
myself myself in the name of philosophical experimentation
(exit in frenzy)
Spackle:  If he drowns himself will I get a cucumber?  Do cucumbers 
float?(lights off)
End Act 2
INTERMISSION 4 minutes 37 seconds.
Act 3
(Outside Cub Foods)
Spackle:  Here I believe they have cucumbers.  But is it right to buy a cucumber when I can 
get one from a friend?  More importantly I can get one for free.  I have no money anyway.
(Bill enters)
Bill:  Excuse me my friend.  Do you have a lake on you?  There are no ponds in the field 
where we were before.
Spackle:  I'll trade you a lake for a cucumber!
Bill:  I'm sorry, I had to sell the cucumbers to the audience during intermission.
Spackle:  Give me the money.
Bill: No.
Spackle: Yes
Bill: No.
Spackle: Yes, or I'll shoot you with my gun.
(Spackle pulls gun)
Bill:  No!
Spackle's gun:  BLAM! (Spackle digs through Bill's pockets for money.  Lights fades to 
black)

Act 4
(lights come up on Spackle and Bill in same positions they 
were in last act. {as soon as lights have faded down slam 
them all the way up to 10})
Bill: Spackle
(Spackle jumps back and looks at Bill.)
Bill:  Spackle.  Spackle.
Spackle:  Was it wet?
Bill:  Was what wet?
Spackle: Death
Bill: Oh, not really.
Spackle:  So what was it?  Was it dry?
Bill: No.
Spackle: Moist?
Bill: Not exactly.
Spackle:  Well, what was it?
Bill:  Here, let me show you.(pulls out huge gun and shoots 
spackle)
Bill:  Your gun was only one of my cucumbers.  You had it 
with you all the time Spackle.
Lights come up as Bill shuffles off stage leaving gun, 
cucumber and Spackle.

Act 5
Back in the field.
Bill:  Spackle that was all I had in the world, now no cucumbers, no gun and no Spackle.
pause of an hour or so
	Nothing.
lights go down.end of play.At least it seems like the end of the play.
Act 6 
three hours later after the actors have had a nice dinner.  Lights come up. and a large yellow 
bus arrives on stage.  A man in light yellow comes off bus.  Bill sees him.
Bill:  Spackle!
Man:  No, Godot.
the real end of the play

Like an amber mist in mid-June...like a cherry coke (Dave Gels.)